Unfortunately, two days ago, my Fiance and I ended our relationship.
It was something we had both come to agree on.
After a fantastic one and a half years with many great experiences, the relationship seemed to be dying.
Over the past couple of months we started seeing each other less and less. When we did see each other it just didn't feel the same as it had. Over the past couple of weeks she had almost stopped coming over completely, we have have only seen each other a handful of times in those two weeks.
It was making us both unhappy.
She distanced herself from me in space and emotionally as she didn't want to or know how to deal with the situation. I eventually got frustrated with the situation and asked her to come over to discuss things. When she arrived it did not take long before the words "It's not working" came out. Although I was prepared for this outcome it was still a crushing and devastating blow. I thought she was the one and she says she thought that too. We both wanted the same thing at first, to settle down, marry, have children, but as time went by her opinions have changed. Now I know this is most likely due to the six and a half year age gap, with her being just 18. She has come to the point in her life where she wants to be enjoying herself and partying, I am past that stage now, I want an easy life with a woman I love and the chance to start a family.
This was pretty much a mutual decision and we parted on as good a terms as possible, but i think that is what is making it hurt the most. If we had hated each other and fallen out i think the split would have been easier. It was so good i even helped her pack her things and take them out to her car. Gave each other a tearful hug goodbye and confirmed that we did love each other, just that we are in two different stages in our lives.
Now I sit in a shell of a bedroom, decorations removed from the wall and items put away in drawers for the time being. Anything I see of her is a painful reminder of what we had and what i am now without. I refuse to destroy or dispose of any presents, cards or photos as this was not a bad chapter in our lives, just one that unfortunately ran its course to the end. I will be keeping our photos and memories on my computer in a file out of the way, so that one day i may decide to either keep them as the good memories that they are or delete them as to close the book on that chapter of our lives. Same goes for the presents and such, for now they are being kept out of sight until the day where i decide what to do with them.
As devastated as i have been, only two days on I am trying to feel better, stay busy and find things to do.
Today she will be collected the last of her things, the tropical fish tank. This is a bit sad really as I enjoyed seeing them every night lighting up one corner of the room. Again the fish are another reminder of what we had so i am glad they are going with her. I can always buy more fish!
Well that is it for this depressing update.
Onward and upwards is going to be my aim, as well as maybe trying out a new diet, make myself more appealing to any future ladies haha!